31 July 2013

Have you ever been in a situation whereby you really want to do something but another thing is holding you back?

Yea.

You know the part where your heart wanted it so much and your brain started telling you negative things about yourself, all your flaws and that you can never achieve it?

Yea.

And the part where you decide to give up because your brain successfully manage to convince you that you really aren't good enough for your dreams?

Yea.

And then you feel even worst because you give up so easily on your own dreams and you feel like a complete loser for convincing yourself that you are one?

Yea.

I think the worst moment was when someone asks me to tell them more about myself and my mind went absolutely blank.................................................................... Like my brain decides to not even have the slightest idea who I am but can convince myself of all the bad in me when I'm alone. Ha ha ha I guess? Funny how I don't even know myself. But I think that will only be for now. One fine day I will probably know who I am and how awesome I actually am.

I think the human mind will always be a mystery.

And I would love to study psychology if I'm a filthy rich girl.

PS: I don't blame my parents for not being rich.
PSS: I blame my existence for wasting up all my parents money.
PSSS: I blame myself for not studying hard and being a complete nuisance of myself.

I am so fucked up.